fake it till i make it (7.18.08)

If it's not apparent already to you
If you really can't see what this is doing to me
Let me make it simple
And spell it out a little… BIGGER and bolder for you---
I can only cope
[and by only I mean barely]
by suppressing the words you say
and hiding them away
somewhere deepanddark
…but…
sometimes… they sneak out
sometimes… they come back loud and clear
so what I do
what I do is I
fake it
fake it till I make it
through
where
I'm not me
But you're still you
And sometimes… it works
Sometimes… it doesn't
"numbing the pain for a while
will make it worse when you
finally feel it"
so I will sit
and recall
but honestly
I'd rather fake it till I make it—Like you