"Don't lose yourself, don't let yourself be lost"

Sometimes I feel so empty
the only thing that can make me
feel better is adding a little number
next to the days date.
My little system of records.
No, I am not getting better.
In a sick way I hate the days
that get a slash through them.
When I ask what's wrong with me?
Everyone answers nothing, you're fine.
But I am lost. In what
other people make me feel
with words they don't say to me
out loud or specifically.
Please stop pacifying me.
Only say what you mean
so I will be less confused.
so I will be less lost.