Pretentious.

I started to write
in the odd extra
time of after-test
environment typically
filled with naps and
glazed stares.
flipping through pages
looking for a blank
back to serve as
my canvas........
pen poised, eyes
focused and......
there are no words.
nothing. nothing.
My thoughts have
become too personal
for even me.

Suddenly I feel the
room staring and
judging and I am
pretentious for
writing in class and
pretentious for
having my angsty
neon painting in
open view through
the clear binder slip.
stop looking at me
(((if you are)))
I'm now too anxious
to glance around
and confirm my
suspicious of judgement.

so I sit and stare
and stare at nothing
and at the desk and
at the wall and the
ceiling and my hand
and Mr. Tabor cleaning
the white board and
the blank sheet of
paper in front of me.
I feel pretentious
for staring. I bury
my face in my arms
and pretend to sleep.
(((which is also
highly pretentious)))