mostly related but different conversations.

itchy shoulder rash…

grass doesn’t go well with skin.

I told you///You grinned.




“are you going to

get shit for the backyard thing?”

yes. but it’s worth it.

afternoon haikus.

hey, calm down, okay?
have a cigarette. or four.
smoke in the backyard.

sorry there's no gum.
sit down and read in the grass.
listen to the trees.

let the sun warm you.
flick your ashes on the ground.
stub it in the dirt.

you're alone right now.
it's alright. just breathe. shhh, breathe.
don't fidget. stay still.

all better now. see?
I said it would be fine. I
didn't lie this time.

and happy.

after hours of testing I
caught you in the courtyard.
stay? yeah, stay. I'll meet up.
You walked into the room,
sat down quietly and chuckled
at the madness of theatre.
I went out to my car and you
kept smiling. looking at me
like you couldn't be happier
to be standing there holding
me, messing up my hair.
we laid in the shadow of the
scraggled trees kissing,
laughing, questioning.
you kept telling me I should
probably get home all while
pulling me back, doing cute
things, acting like a bear.
what are you doing?
you have to leave don't you?
what am I doing?? I asked
as you continued to keep me
there. even though I should
have left an hour ago, there
was no worry eating me. no
repetition in my head. just...
a feeling of calm, collected
and happy.

L is for Landmark

laying on purplegreenblue striped rug
listening to sufjan stevens create
love & understanding in every
lyric the speaker pours out across
linear and angular paths (but not too
loudly) while I wear only my
lime coloured bra, I note this
landmark night of happiness.

found out?

unmanicured grass prickling my legs
exposed by out of character shorts,
propping myself up with one arm & elbow
staring quizzically at your bluegrey eyes
in the four seconds between you saying
you know,when we first hung out you lied
and you said you were a bad kisser
I worried you found me out

sufjan stevens (for the widows in paradise)

slow connection
breaks&buffers
stop start stop
nearly silent
one two three
softly strumming,
layering sweetly.
whispered vocals

it hits me.
motions ceases.
i freeze.
bow my head.
shivering.
not temperature.
blood moving
arms to face

beautiful.
each word rises
flows caresses
builds builds
building a story
fitting my world
repeat, repeat
it breaks me.